Being a Gay Christian

Here are my struggles to reconcile my religion & sexual orientation. I used to think that being a Christian and being gay were mutually exclusive. God revealed to me that I am his child, created Just As I Am. God’s awesome gift comes with challenges, yet opportunities to share the good news to many who have rejected religion. Or who have suppressed their sexuality to keep their religion. I welcome this ministry and the unbelievable strength he gives me to do it.


I'm gay and while that does tell you which gender I want to fall in love with, it tells you nothing about my lifestyle. As you read you'll learn about that.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Being Used

I've said this before. The Republicans are using the Christian right to keep themselves in power and push their agenda. Just like they are using gay bigotry to generate votes.

When Bush first started touting faith based initiatives as a way of doing government programs, I was afraid that I, via taxes, would be paying for evangelism. I have to admit now that my worries did not come to fruition, though not for the reason I suspected, but due to the typical White House maneuver of failing to fund their promises and dictates.

So far from being a way to reward the Christian right for their support, it's just another of the ways that this administration will blatantly use people to further their agenda.

As David Kuo's new book reinforces, they publicly support the Christian right while
belittling them in private. Likewise according to Log Cabin leaders, Republicans privately befriend gays while publicly speaking against them.

Kuo also stated that contrary to Bush'd promise of $8 billion in new funding for faith based social programs, the governement actually budgeted zero new dollars.

Meanwhile if you hear a sucking sound, it's our civil rights being flushed down the toilet as Bush signs into law a bill that allows torture, imprisonment without due process or even charges being filed, secret trials and secret sentences including the ability to execute prisoners, use of questionably obtained testimony and not revealing evidence against a person charged.

"Nothing could be further from the American values we all hold in our hearts than the Military Commissions Act," the ACLU said. All for the illusion that we are safer. Meanwhile violent crime is out of control. I'm not afraid of a terrorist attack but I am concerned about being robbed or attacked.

So when tony Snow talks about "...harnessing the power of faith in dealing with some of the most intractable problems our society faces," I'm sure he's not lying, but also suspect it probably means harnessing the power of faith for the Republican leaders who claim to know best how to deal with our problems.

Now I know that none of this is really new. But what offends me is the brazen way this administration goes about it. Now I'm all for making us safer and for lower taxes and improved values. But while they get us all fighting amongst ourselves, they raid the cookie jar.

Remember their motto - the end justifies the means. And the Bush dynasty end is to restore the ruling class.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Hey You Kids! Outta the Limbo Pool!

Quoted from Stuart Jeffries - The Guardian 10/09/06

(Blogger Note 10/14/07: I originally erroneously used the term pergatory instead of limbo. Was probably thrown off by Stuart's quote which also referenced purgatory. But it was nicely pointed out by a keen reader so I have corrected my admitted mistake. Also I was admittedly pretty sarcastic when I wrote this a year ago.)

The Catholic has announced that unbaptized children will henceforth go directly to heaven and not spend eternity in limbo as it has previous porclaimed for the last 700 years.

The Catholic church now believes that God wishes all souls to be saved. It seems remiss, to put it mildly, that the church took seven centuries to come to this more compassionate position.

Pope John Paul II announced that any Christian who gave up drinking or smoking in 2000 would have his or her time in Purgatory lessened. We thereby saw the birth of the Vatican nanny state. In this announcement John Paul followed Boniface VIII, who, during the church's jubilee in 1300, granted pardon from all Purgatorial torment to anyone who died while on pilgrimage to Rome that year.

Is any Catholic so blessed as to believe in the supposed truth of a purgatory administered by papal whim? It would be nice to think that the afterlife isn't quite so - how to put this? - silly.

Dear God,

The Cardinals and I have met and discussed your policies regarding unbaptized children having to spend time in limbo (see the Holy Book of Inferno by Dante) and feel this is unwarranted behavior by a diety otherwise known for justice. In this light we are changing the limbo policy. Please conform to this new theology immediately.

Your Holiness, The Pope

The last bit of silliness is mine. Has it occurred to anyone that trying to figure out the diffinitve law of God is sheer folly. The mystery of the faith isn't that it takes a Pope and 200 Cardinals to figure it all out, but that it's so simple a child can understand it.

God is loving and just.

Love God.
Love each other.
Love ourselves.

Everything else is covered by grace so we can quit debating how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.

Truth, Love, Evil & Proclivity

In response to my July 13, 2006 entry, "Truth in Love" wrote...

It sounds to me, as it always does, that when it comes to the subject of being a "gay Christian" the homosexual individual is only willing to interpret Scripture in the light of their proclivity rather than allowing themselves to interpret their proclivity in the light of Scripture.

Deciding what is "right" first and then using scripture to confirm a preconceived ideology is akin to being a god unto one's self.

The Bible's clarity on the subject of homosexual behavior is so unambiguous that only a completely perverted interpretation could justify the things that are routinely pronounced on various "gay Christian" blogs as being truth.

Unconditional love does not equate to unconditional acceptance. This is one of many theological leaps that are used to justify your behavior and your decisions, but the God-honoring truth is far removed from the reality of which you cling to.

Ultimately, you are proposing a beautiful side of evil which will have dire consequences for those you have led astray...


Of course I do have a response with my naive hope that those TILs out there might at least consider an alternate view. Sadly self-proclaimed keepers of the truth seldom are open to enlightenment and revelation. You can just sign me as Faith Through Doubt.

It sounds to me, as it always does... sounds to me like you are reading our writings from your own proclivity, your own preconcieved notion that homosexuality is evil and condemned by God. Try interpreting it with an open mind. What if God doesn't condemn homosexuality? If you can't even consider that posibility, then you should probably take your closed mind on to other topics. No gay people will listen to you. All things are possible, remember?

You're also coming in at the end of the play, my friend. You weren't witness to when I thought like you. You have never experienced 40 years of thinking God condemns you. You have never experienced what it's like to live with only the false hope you would profess for 40 years. You have never prayed for 40 years and think God was ignoring you. You have never felt condemned for what you are, instead of what you do.

Scipture was made for man not man for the scripture. In fact scripture was written by man, not by God. Be careful that your worship of scripture not cloud God's revelation to you. And by using the word proclivity, I see you have already judged me. Judgement is reserved for God. So be careful about who you claim is taking of a god-like role.

What does your interpretation of scripture offer me? Loneliness. A life without intimacy. A life without the full depth of human love. Oh, sure I could become a priest and dedicate myself to the church. But I believe God calls those people into service and he did not call me to that. And it seem s like it's so easy and even insincere to demand of others what you are unwilling to do yourself.

I could pretend I am straight and enter a loveless marriage and not discomfit the world with my orientation. Wait! I already did that and screwed up several lives in the process not to mention being a pathological liar in the name of being a "good Christian."

As far as deciding what is "right" first, you are correct that evil men will often use scripture to support their purposes. But, I did not decide what was "right". God patiently revealed it to me after decades of resistance on my part. He showed me the truth for my life. God is forefront in my life and I follow only him. I only am here to bear witness to his work in my life.

Yet, not only do evil men use the Bible to prove their preconceived ideologies. Well intentioned people do as well. None of us start with a clean slate. We are taught by our parents, ministers, elders and teachers. We take on their interpretations. We can either embrace those exclusively or open ourselves to new revelation. Regardless, I would challenge everyone, myself included, that they are using scriptures to reinforce their existing beliefs. Scripture was not written to prove us right but to challenge us to open our hearts and minds to God's wisdom.

In fact we do this in all aspects of our lives, not just faith. It's called a scotoma - being blind to those things that don't fit our idea of reality. I know I am influenced by my scotomas and try to challenge them whenever I can. I try not to get too comfortable with ANY interpretation - mine or yours.

The Bible's clarity on the subject of homosexual behavior is so unambiguous that only a completely perverted interpretation could justify the things that are routinely pronounced on various "gay Christian" blogs as being truth. Quote me Paul's words in Greek and repeat that statement.

There are countless "unambiguous" statements in the Bible that are routinely ignored. Have you sold all you have and given it to the poor? (Yeah, I picked an obvious one, but I'm sure if I flipped through the book, I'd quickly have a dozen more.) Or do you, like me and so many others, "re-interpret" that to fit your preconceived ideologies? And if you persist in believing that Sodom was destroyed because of homosexuality, you DEFINITELY have a scotoma.

Unconditional love does not equate to unconditional acceptance True. I have never advocated a blank check, anything goes theology. But grace is built on love, not actions nor acceptance. There are consequences for behavior as there is also forgiveness. But God is unconditionally understanding. He knows my situation better than I do. I put my trust in him and I do not believe he would lead me astray. Yes, I make mistakes. But I believe God prefers to welcome me as a flawed individual rather than condemn me for seeking the love, companionship and human intimacy that every human needs to be healthy. I don't believe God gives us challenges in order to drive us away from his presence and his hope.

the God-honoring truth is far removed from the reality of which you cling to. Other than being derisive, I struggle a bit to understand the theology here. Truth is truth. God is truth. I as a mere human cannot know the full truth. That's why I have to rely on faith. And the faith I have is that God can use me, a flawed vessel "Just As I Am" to glorify his kingdom. Perhaps you mean only "perfect" people do God honor and everyone else sullies him.

...propose a beautiful side of evil... You consider me evil? You consider what I do evil? You abhor homosexuality that much? Why? I struggle to understand the vitriol expressed by otherwise good Christians. Explain it to me please. I struggle to see how the love my partner and I share compares with using chemical weapons to murder thousands of people, to forcing millions into gas chambers, to incinerating countless lives, to the greed that robs thousands of their pensions, to the imprisonment of people for what they think, to the persecution of children, to denying food, education and health care to millions, to the hatred and greed that fuels all the worlds seemingly infinite forms of injustice. Explain it to me please because I just don't get it.

Or do you just prefer us all to hide in the closet - live a lie. Practice deception. Sounds like you advocate for the father of lies. I reject shame and lies. Traditional religious and societal intolerance has forced people to pretend to be someone they are not which has terrible psychological effects. Those effects have often manifested themselves in unacceptable behavior such as Mark Foley's.

Instead, loving Christians should be encouraging people to be themselves, respected individuals with much to offer and the right to have a fulfilling life. Sure we all have our struggles being the person God would have us be, but we should be picking each other up and offering hope. I am a child of God and live in his loving presence. And the hope, joy and ministry he has blessed me with have brought new life to my desperate soul.

dire consequences... I am constantly surprised by people's views of God as so un-Christ-like. If God punishes me for bringing a message of hope in God to those you have driven away from him with hopelessness and despair... so be it. I cannot worship a Hitlerian form of god who demands blind obedience and would exterminate undesireables while cultivating only those he would deem idea specimens.

I have lived in shame. I have hid my light under a bushel for far too long. Now I let my faith, my hope shine for those who still live in darkness.

Remember that Jesus loved the lepers of his day. Which is easier - jumping on the anti-gay bandwagon or standing up for those the mainstream would marginalize? Beware the easy path. My recommendation to you is to let God worry about the truth and you can focus on just being loving.