Being a Gay Christian

Here are my struggles to reconcile my religion & sexual orientation. I used to think that being a Christian and being gay were mutually exclusive. God revealed to me that I am his child, created Just As I Am. God’s awesome gift comes with challenges, yet opportunities to share the good news to many who have rejected religion. Or who have suppressed their sexuality to keep their religion. I welcome this ministry and the unbelievable strength he gives me to do it.


I'm gay and while that does tell you which gender I want to fall in love with, it tells you nothing about my lifestyle. As you read you'll learn about that.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Jesus and the Eunuchs

I keep getting drawn back to Matthew 19: 10-12. Jesus has jsut responded to a track question by the religious leaders with a truthful, but thought provoking answer. He says the ever quoted phrase, "What God has joined together, man should not separate." This is often used to indicate that Jesus was anti-divorce. But that's not what he says. He says that God can join two people together and only God should separate two people. To say that marriage is always and only an act of God and divorce is always and only an act of man is presumptuous and irrational. I do believe God divorces couples. I truly believe God blessed my divorce. In fact it was his idea!!

Now about eunuchs. During Jesus day there, a eunuch was anyone not interested in women. Today we only think of castrated eunuchs. But homosexuals were commonly called eunuchs. The third type of eunuch is someone like Christ himself who forsake relations with a female to strengthen their relationship with God. Modern priests could be considered similar eunuchs. There was never an assumption that a man could be sterile - all fertility problems were blamed on ibarren women. And a man born without testicals is so rare as to be considered non-existent.

So here's the way Matthew 19: 10-12 reads:

10 The disciples said to Him, "If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry."
11But He said to them, "Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given.
12"For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it."

Let me suggest a modern interpretation of what Jesus was saying understanding eunuchs the way society did.

The disciples said to him, “…it must be better not to marry.”

Jesus said, “Some men need to have a wife. But not everyone can accept the traditional male role. For there are men born without interest in women such as homosexuals, there are men who have been castrated by other men, and there are men who decide to remain celibate to bring them a closer relationship with God.”

I really believe Jesus is acknowledging that gays are born not made. And, the DaVinci Code notwithstanding, this is probably also an answer to the endless challenges Jesus likely faced by being unmarried.

Links to my Heart

I know I should write here more often. Sometimes though I just need to get fired up. Bruce linked me to a religious web site condemning homosexuality - (nothing new there, lol). It was full of scriptural refereneces typical of such sites. It's funny how the modern pharisees can analyze scriptures and discern meaning until they come to homosexuality and then it's - see right here in black and white - no interpretation neccessary.

Then there was a phrase that struck me as odd. "God only blessed sex within the committed marriage relationship of a man and a woman." And I had to take a step back and ask if these people had ever really read the Bible. You don't even leave the book of Genesis to see God blessing the son of Abraham and his slave girl.

"And as for Ishmael, I have heard you: I will surely bless him; I will make him fruitful and will greatly increase his numbers. He will be the father of twelve rulers, and I will make him into a great nation."

Yep, pretty sure God hates bastards and condemns adulterers.

And neither Jesus nor Paul condemned polygamy which was common then. Paul only said that if you were a church leader, you should limit yourself with one wife. Of course Paul also said we shouldn't marry. Only if we can't control our lust, he said.

And I find it a stretch to say that because there's a myth about the first man and woman, that's the only model of relationships there is. There's also a story about the Israelites slaughtering every man, woman, child and beast which perhaps should be the ideal model for warfare, eh?

They also like to quote Paul writing only to the church at Corinth "neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God" and forget everything but homosexuals. Actually Paul was refering to temple prostitution common at Corinth here, but we conveniently broaden this to include God's directive to homos.

I never see this scripture used to berate Ken Lay and corporate fat cats. I've never heard it quoted against the slanderers at the AFA and 700 Club who knowingly spread lies about gay people. I have never heard this scripture quoted against the swindlers at the helm of this country who lied to start a war. And isn't the word "televangelist" almost synonymous with "swindler?" Plus in Paul's day even holding hands in public was sexually immoral.

From a non-U.S. perspective this whole nation is greedy. And I haven't met a man who really doesn't desire a blowjob - which if you recall is included in the definition of sodomy even if you're married.

So I got a bit ticked and sent the following...

Blah, blah, blah. Same stuff I've heard since I was 6 years old. Where's the love and empathy? Where is trying to understand the struggles of your brother? Being gay is what I am, not what I do. I lived the life of a strict heterosexual for 40 years but all the time I was fully completely gay.

Thankfully, I finally saw God's patient message he was speaking to me and I rejected the shame and embraced the glory of his creation and the wonderful gifts he has given me. And I took on the real ministry he asks me to do.

Since you are a fundamentalist, you've already decided anything I say is wrong, but I'll say it anyway. The Bible is a work of man (complete with man's prejudices and faults) trying to describe their personal revelation from God. Inspired? Yes. Truth filled? Wonderfully. God's verbatim dictate? Hardly. God walks and speaks to us personally today, just as he did the writers of 2,000 years ago. The words can only be brought back to life through the Holy Spirit. There is truth there but it comes not from the printed words but from the spirit inside us.

How nice it must be to point at the words and say "See, I'm right." You are a modern Pharasee standing proudly on your dogma and religious convictions when Jesus is calling you to be compassionate. You probably believe in loving the sinner but hating the sin. I ask why is the church advocating ANY form of hate? And besides it doesn't feel very loving from my end.

What if God told you that he made gay people and wants them to live happy fulfilled lives and that you are misinterpreting scripture? I believe He is. But you persist in your adherance to male dominated religious control over society and qoute scripture without Spirit.

I have to sadly laugh when I dialog with people like yourself. I speak from my heart about my relationship with God and they send me a scripture reference - like that's all there is to being a Christian - quoting scripture. Here's one you might want to pray about - 1 Corinthians 13:1 "If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal."

I cry for all the gay people you righteously cast out of your churches. Most have rejected any relationship with God thanks to rhetoric like yours. I'm sorry for the hardness of your heart and pray that God's truth be revealed to you. I am sorry that you see God as small, petty & vindictive. I believe that God's compassion can forgive the shortcomings of both of us.

If you are a fundamentalist or anyone else who condemns homosexuality reading this...

I challenge you to speak from your heart and quit linking to scriptures as if that is all there is about spreading the Good News. Yes, Jesus quoted scripture - rarely. And be honest for a change. Tell me exactly what you think about gay people. Tell me how disgusting you think it is. I know that's at the root of your thoughts. Or maybe you find it something desirable and are fighting your lust. Whatever is in your heart, I truly understand. And far from making you less human, honesty makes you more of a child of God. Only then can true dialog happen.

Satan is called the father of lies and lies, deception and omission nearly destroyed me and the people I love. They were a wall between me and others, between me and God. So give up the deception.

Tell me what you really think when you see two men holding hands, tell me what you really think when you see two 60 year old men kissing as they greet each other at the airport. Tell me what you really think about the gay choir director. Tell me what you really feel when you think that there are gay men sharing your locker room or at the urinal next to you. Tell me what you really feel when you think of two middle aged men in bed together. Tell me what you really feel when your son or daughter, brother or sister, or other relative confides in you that they are gay. Tell me what you really feel when you see pictures of happily married same sex couples. In my journal, I have poured out my heart. Share yours with me as well. Only then can we get past the dogma and learn to love each other as siblings in God's family.

And while we're at it, explain why your opinion of what the Bible means is more important than my opinion about what the Bible means. Where is there any Good News in your shallow words? Where is ther any hope? Where have you walked in my shoes and found a relationship with God while feeding the hogs? When did you ever stand in the darkness with only God as a companion and even then ask yourself if were truly alone and forsaken? I am the modern leper.

If you're just going to quote scripture, save your breath. I have studied them since I could read and know the clobber passages back to the Greek. I call upon those who would condemn me by quoting Leviticus and 1 Corinthians to quit hiding behind scriptures, quit beating me with the Bible and start speaking honestly - from their hearts.