Being a Gay Christian

Here are my struggles to reconcile my religion & sexual orientation. I used to think that being a Christian and being gay were mutually exclusive. God revealed to me that I am his child, created Just As I Am. God’s awesome gift comes with challenges, yet opportunities to share the good news to many who have rejected religion. Or who have suppressed their sexuality to keep their religion. I welcome this ministry and the unbelievable strength he gives me to do it.


I'm gay and while that does tell you which gender I want to fall in love with, it tells you nothing about my lifestyle. As you read you'll learn about that.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


From childhood I have studied religion and not just Christianity. To various degrees I have studied the various protestant denominations (fundamentalism to progressive), Catholicism, Mormonism, Buddhism, Islam, Judaism and others including a bit of Zoroastrianism (the first monotheistic religion). I am admittedly an amateur on theology, but I don't think you need to be a theologian or pastor, elder, priest, shaman, etc. to work out ones faith. I try to share some of my insights as well as questions here.

Today I have a few random observations and rhetorical questions based on various faiths' claims. These are intended to provoke thoughts, not necessarily an argument. Explanations are welcome as I am very interested in how people rationalize these apparent inconsistencies.

1) If, as some evangelicals claim, God is willing to send disasters to punish society (the good with the bad) to convince the non-believers of his divine will, why does he seem to be unwilling to take much less drastic, more personal action? Perhaps blowing down just the sinner's houses?

2) God punishing the masses for the sins of the few makes him seem capricious, extremely sadistic as well as vengeful. This doesn't coincide with the message of grace and forgiveness I am udes to.

3) There seems an underlying theme from many televangelists... For the faithful, good fortune is God's blessing and bad fortune is a trial. For the unfaithful, good fortune is God showing grace even to the wicked and bad fortune in punishment.

4) If God is going to eventually dispense divine judgement and retribution, why should we as humans waste energy being punitive to those God has already damned?

5) Biblical inerrancy requires an amazing amout of intervention by God. Just as literal creationism requires an inconceivable amount of detail work (such as not just creating the stars but creating lightwaves from those distant stars moving through space on a path to our eyes). Yet we are to believe that this micromanagement God really doesn't care that much about us as individuals even though the Bible says he does.

I've read some of the Koran lately, randomly picking several dozen passages and a couple of observations came to me.

1) The Jews are really reviled in the Koran. But I can't figure out is they are mad at Jews for not following Mohammed or for not sharing God in the first place.

2) Based on my random sampling, I didn't have to read very far each and every passage before there was a reference to hell or judgement.

So here are but a few of the ponderments that go though my mind at times. Again, if someone can explain any of these in a logical way, I welcome the dialog.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Some Thoughts Around Abortion

Dangerous topic - abortion. First off, I realize that as a male, my opinion is of secondary importance. Second, I am pro-choice in that it's not the government's responsibility to dictate reproductive decisions for anyone.

I also do not support legislation based on religion or morality. I do not accept that an embryo is a person nor is a non-viable fetus. Other than that I don't know, but defer to the people actually involved in the pregnancy.

I prefer we not have abortions, but choose not to criminalize what is already a tough decision. I think the best way to minimize abortions is through truthful sex education, strong promotion of contraceptives including the "morning after" pill and a supportive, non-judgemental attitude toward all women. Stygmatizing women through guilt and fear essentially instills only guilt, rarely motivation.

And where are all the anti-abortionists when it comes to paying for pre-natal care and welcoming and supporting the new mother and child into the community with celebration and open arms. No, it seems to be heaps of scorn no matter what decisions a woman makes.

How do they rationalize that all good things are from God and all bad things are brought upon by the individual? What kind of weak, vengeful, arbitrary monster is the god they portray?

While I do believe from personal experience that God (the nuturing one I believe in) can involve himself in the creation or lack of creation of children (I just have to look at the contortions of coincidence that brought my son into the world), I refuse to leave it totally in his hands. Neither do I let him completely control my car.

I find it frustrating in that many abortion opponents are anti-contraception, against teaching kids the facts about sex in schools, are anti-women's rights, and want to label girls as pure or whores. Many refuse to acknowledge that sex outside of marriage not only exists but can be a blessed thing.

I wondered what would happen if they did manage to reverse Roe v Wade - if they were able to turn back the clock to a time where abortions in many places were illegal. Of course the wealthy would still get safe abortions like they always have. The Republicans would lose a plank in their platform that has produced votes for them. The poor would create larger populations of poverty and die more often.

But I'm sure that's "acceptible" as due punishment for their sins. Society as a whole has to put up with more crime and poverty.

I think more about the children born to mothers who do not want them, to live without a loving and nuturing parent. I think about the women who struggle as they might, cannot support their families, I think of the women put to death by the law whether through unlicensed practitioners or the inaction of doctors to sacrifice a fetus to save a mother. What a cruel insensitive world that would be.

Perhaps their god who cannot stop a woman from having an abortion will bring down a hurricane on everyone for our unwillingness to usurp women's right to make their own decisions. And while he's at it, maybe send another one to North Korean.

Friday, September 18, 2009

National Dialog

We must change our national dialog from saying "you must, should, will" to saying "I think, believe, hope."

Where I Am Today

It's been a long time since I published anything here. Mainly life has been fairly hectic for the past six months. Work has been especially busy, but is finally giving me personal time back. My relationship with Eugene is still good - 3 1/2 years. While it is still long distance and may never change, it's what I need at this time. We did get to spend a week vacation together and enjoy some romantic time.

But while I haven't written, I have done a lot of thinking. American society is going through massive changes, the pace of which is increasing. Sadly the ability to discourse is falling. I had hoped that Obama's administration might usher in more pragmatism, but wasn't expecting the "just say no" position the opposition is taking.

The refusal to change anything is what has lead to economic meltdown and the healthcare crisis. To desire to maintain the status quo is no fix. I see tea-baggers protesting (what exactly many are not sure). I read about the rise in extremist groups in the U.S. I hear about disturbing trends in the rollback of female rights at the state level. And of course I cringe at the desire of so many to deny basic rights to gay people - that rights are something given by popular vote. I worry about the massive ongoing transfer of wealth from the middle and lower incomes of society into the small group of wealthy elitists. I am troubled by the near panicked efforts to maintain tradional sexual models - men are in charge and powerful or wimps / women are virgins, married or whores.

When I try to step back and look wholistically it just seems that so many people want to turn back the clock. Perhaps it is a longing for a simpler time, a time they felt more secure. But I don't really think it was all that simple, but merely a time when the things that scare them were hidden.

Now I'm not threatened by a difference of opinion or belief. What disturbs me is the rabid way some groups demand people conform to their narrowly defined lifestyle. When laws are being passed to purposely marginalize certain groups of people, I am outraged. When people tell blatant lies to sway public opinion, I am incensed. When people cannot respect a difference of opinion, I feel less secure about the direction and standing of our society. When people use fear to manipulate others, I find it offensive.

We all have to live our lives the best we can. More people than anyone knows do not fit the stereotyped American lifestyle with a man and a woman, married with 2.5 children living in a nice suburban neighborhood with a good job and going to church on Sunday. It takes so much courage and stamina to pull out of that strong orbit we are raised by society to find attractive. But everyone who manages it weakens the bonds that bind the rest.

I am trying to change my corner of the world, though. I try to speak up when I see injustice. I ask for facts when I hear knee-jerk solutions. I try to be who I am and stand up for my values. I do not tell people how to live their lives, but I do want to challenge everyone, myself included, to think about why they believe what they do, why they act like they do. And most of all, I wish everyone would practice understanding and compassion.