Being a Gay Christian

Here are my struggles to reconcile my religion & sexual orientation. I used to think that being a Christian and being gay were mutually exclusive. God revealed to me that I am his child, created Just As I Am. God’s awesome gift comes with challenges, yet opportunities to share the good news to many who have rejected religion. Or who have suppressed their sexuality to keep their religion. I welcome this ministry and the unbelievable strength he gives me to do it.


I'm gay and while that does tell you which gender I want to fall in love with, it tells you nothing about my lifestyle. As you read you'll learn about that.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Rick Warren & Barack Obama

Today it became clear to me why the selection of anti-gay Rick Warren by Barack Obama as invocation speaker bothered me so much. In fact it makes me want to spit nails, take names and make phone calls. It's because as much as Barack Obama proclaims that he supports us, he just doesn't get it.

He's not alone. I am constantly disappointed by supportive people who during conversations prove that they really don't get it either. They truly do not understand what it's like to be gay. But I give credit for trying, for listening, for learning.

Warren and others like him talk about all their gay friends and how loving and supportive they are to gay people. And then compare gay relationships with incest and pedophelia if not beastiality. My guess is their so called gay "friends" are not as good a friends as they would like to proclaim.

My relationship with Eugene is every bit as important as a straight couple's. To think that we are somewhat less valid because we are gay is extremely offensive. This is why recognition of gay marriage is important - because until gay relationships are valued by society, we as a group of people are 2nd class, akin to pre-teens sharing promise rings. It's cute but not a "real" adult relationship.

Add to Warren's views about gay relationships - his church denies membership to gays unless they adhere to that church's demeaning requirements. It is another offense that Warren and Obama just do not "get." I don't mind having a conservative speaker. There are many sound values and work being done by conservative Christians.

I don't mind someone being slow to understand. One can be personally opposed to gay marriage without being a hawk about it. I do mind the active and very vocal opposition Warren proclaims against gays.

That is not acceptance of a difference of opinion. That is plain bigotry against people that are different and he doesn't try to understand.

Monday, December 08, 2008


Deeply Held Religious Beliefs are often quoted when people deny GLBT people equal rights. I read of a South Carolina principle who wanted to deny a GSA group at his school due to his DHRBs. It appears the main reason Prop 8 passed was due to many people's DHRBs. People who want to overturn Roe v Wade cite DHRBs.

The Vatican is claiming its DHRBs prevent it from signing a resolution condemning the criminalization and execution of gays. What kind of religion puts you in that position?

But there's something in all of this that leaves me unsettled besides the obvious person aspect of their actions. I think it is the pain that some people's DHRBs inflict on those around them.

Today I was thinking a bit about that and I know that I have DHRBs as do many in favor of gay rights and reproductive rights. But it feels like my DHRBs are discounted while others are "respected."

I have a DHRB that I was created by God in his image. I have a DHRB that God loves me just as I am. I have a DHRB that God does not seek to deny my need for love and human intimacy. I have a DHRB that being gay is no barrier to being a Christian (or Muslim or Jew or...).

I guess the difference is how I put my beliefs into practice. First off I don't wear them on my sleeve or use them as a replacement for logic and dialog. I also recognize that my DHRBs may apply to me alone since God does have individual relationships with each of us. The idea that his relationships with the billions of earthlings are identical is naive.

Like everyone else, I use my beliefs in building my values and my actions. And there are times when I act against my beliefs because of the situation I am in.

For example, I have a DHRB that corporate profiteering to maximize stockholder value and executive compensation at the expense of employees, community and the environment is wrong or sinful as some would say.

Yet I work for a Fortune 50 company that I know at times violates my DHRBs. I have a choice of action from quitting to protest to acquiescence to speaking my mind. I will choose the latter when circumstances present themselves. I don't consider this discarding my beliefs or values because there are many many good things my company does as well and I am proud to work here. I am proud of the progress it has made and the restraint shown.

This weekend I heard of a local high school whose GSA membership was over 50 students. And reportedly most had not revealed in the meetings their orientation. The group had grown from an initial 6.

GSAs are not about sex. They are about support and not feeling alone in school. They are about helping each student acheive their potential.

I spend my high school years trying to be invisible and thinking I was the only gay kid out of 3000 students. My social life was stunted. My relationships were few and shallow. My dating life was totally screwed up as I did what I was supposed to do not what I wanted.

Today I am much more outgoing and confident with a great support community. I will always wonder what life would have been like if I had had that in high school.

It makes me angry to think that there are kids like me in schools today denied that support I needed to bloom because of their principle's deeply held religious beliefs. How much hurt does one have to inflict on fellow human beings to begin to question one's actions based on beliefs?

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Loving the Sinner

I understand the phylosophy in hating the sin but loving the sinner, however when I see it in practice by those that proclaim that's what they are doing, it appears flat and shallow. They seem to spend so much time hating sin they can't even begin to know how to love a sinner.

As you already know, I don't believe that homosexuality is a sin or that same sex sex is a sin. now before some of you send me reminders of scripture, save your fingers. I don't believe and never will that the scriptures mean what you think they do.

However, I am always amazed by the level of inhumanity that religion will demonstrate when it comes to gays. I have copied this as the latest offense from the Catholic Church.

The Catholic Church, a body that has been staunchly opposed to the death
penalty does not want to include international protections by the United Nations
for gay people who face death penalty charges in countries where homosexuality
is illegal. The Vatican is voicing opposition and plan to go against the French
proposal that is introducing this piece of human rights resolution.

"This week the Vatican's permanent observer to the United Nations, said the Holy See would oppose a resolution that would protect gays from being killed, just because they are gay because it would "add new categories of those protected from discrimination" and could lead to reverse discrimination against traditional heterosexual marriage.

"The French resolution, which is supported by all 27 members of the European Union, says absolutely nothing about gay marriage; it is about ending jail and death penalty sentences gays yet face in more than 85 countries including Afghanistan, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Sudan and Yemen where you can still be killed for being gay."

The lack of basic compassion by the leaders of one of the largest religious organizations in the world is stunning. As it says in 1 Corinthians 13:1...

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

Where is the love in the Vatican's position?

And can anybody explain how gay marriage will destroy straight marriage? I've yet to hear anyone explain anything but fearmongering. By now there should be plenty of examples in Massachusetts and Canada and the UK if it were. I'm sure the AFA web site would be chock full of examples of straight marriages destroyed by Ellen and Elton.

But to claim in the name of God that gay people aren't worthy of the basic respect for life is just horrible.