Being a Gay Christian

Here are my struggles to reconcile my religion & sexual orientation. I used to think that being a Christian and being gay were mutually exclusive. God revealed to me that I am his child, created Just As I Am. God’s awesome gift comes with challenges, yet opportunities to share the good news to many who have rejected religion. Or who have suppressed their sexuality to keep their religion. I welcome this ministry and the unbelievable strength he gives me to do it.


I'm gay and while that does tell you which gender I want to fall in love with, it tells you nothing about my lifestyle. As you read you'll learn about that.

Friday, May 03, 2013

Stay Invisible

After I posted yesterday, I checked my posts wondering how long my absence really was. May 2011 - two years ago! I knew it had been over a year. I knew I had been in corporate hell for over two years, but I didn't realize my postings had been so long ago.

One of the reasons I write this blog is to share the things that I meditate on. When I'm not writing, I am not meditating. So a two year absence signifies close to two years of spiritual apathy on my part. So it wasn't just the work that was driving me into the ground, but the fact that it was depriving me of the study and thought and meditation that is so very important to me.

Recently the coming out of NBA player Jason Collins, specifically some of the reactions to it, have been nagging at me. First off I am glad he has found the courage to do this, to be the person I believe God created. Also I must point out that I am not an avid sports fan. I do follow the Packers because my boyfriend is an avid fan so whenever we are together on a game day, we are watching. I do enjoy it, but rarely watch on my own.

Without being a sports fan, I can tell you that there are and have always been gay professional sports stars just as there are gay politicians, gay priests and ministers, gay police and firemen and gays in the military.

So when Phil Jackson, longtime NBA coach, says "question about gay NBA players [are] "Ridiculous," [and] says he doesn't think there are any" I find it laughable. I can guarantee to Phil that there are and always have been gay players in the NBA. Because he doesn't know who they are is more a testament to his intolerance than it is to the players. We are very good at hiding in plain sight.

I want to write more on this topic later, but now I want to focus on the next odd statement that came out. Dr. Ruth whom I admire stated that while she admired Jason for coming out, that sexual orientation is a private matter. I have heard this comment from many gay people as well. 

I will agree that details of anyone's sex life are private but one's sexual orientation should be public. One's race obviously is and often one's nationality. The problem with keeping one's sexual orientation private is that the common default assumption people make about someone is that they are heterosexual. This assumptions dictates many of the ways people interact. 

I have experienced many uncomfortable moments because the people around me, including my parents, assumed I was straight. Many of those now feel like fools now that they know different. If I know you are gay, I won't try to set you up with my opposite sex cousin. If I know you are gay, I will feel quite comfortable sharing my appreciation of the hottie jogging down the street. 

No I had to listen to straight guys go on about a woman's "bodacious ta-ta's" and try to find ways of slipping out from the numerous dates with women my dad tried to set me up on. So sexual orientation should never be assumed and to get here, we all need to be more open about our sexuality.

Finally, I read the article about LeRoy Butler (famed Packer BTW) who lost a lucrative speaking engagement at a church because of his support for Jason Collins. Now the church is within its rights to cancel Butlers speech to youth about bullying. But they went on to try to encourage him to recant his support, to deny his character. 

LeRoy made a wonderful point that the church was trying to bully him into doing something against his values - ironically the very topic he was scheduled to speak about.

So these are the points that most gays have to live with all the time:
  • if I don't acknowledge you, you don't exist
  • if you are different keep it to yourself and just deal with everyone's insensitivity
  • if you don't agree with us we will punish you

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Anonymous Matthew said...

Hey, so this isn't going to be one of those automated comments like the previous 2 before me.

I'm a gay Christian as well, and I just started writing about it.

I never really engaged with sports fandoms, but it's interesting to see the intentional blindness that shows up in sports culture.

And I agree with you, I don't think staying invisible about your orientation is a solution. Silence validates the hetero normative assumption you spoke on. Out of the many people in my family, I'm only out to my mom, which is why I hate family gatherings. I still don't know how to deal with the do-you-have-a-girlfriend-yet talks.

Although being queer is a minority identity, to view assume everyone's straight closes down many conversations, like your post showed.

I wrote in a post about coming out to my Christian friends a bit ago, and I talked about the use of the phrase, "That's so gay." - in a derogatory sense of course. Can you imagine how much that would stop if the hetero-normative assumption just wasn't a thing?

(here's a link to it if you want to check it out: )

Anyway, I enjoyed this post, hopefully I'll get to read more!

10:44 AM  

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