Being a Gay Christian

Here are my struggles to reconcile my religion & sexual orientation. I used to think that being a Christian and being gay were mutually exclusive. God revealed to me that I am his child, created Just As I Am. God’s awesome gift comes with challenges, yet opportunities to share the good news to many who have rejected religion. Or who have suppressed their sexuality to keep their religion. I welcome this ministry and the unbelievable strength he gives me to do it.

Name:

I'm gay and while that does tell you which gender I want to fall in love with, it tells you nothing about my lifestyle. As you read you'll learn about that.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

A response to Anonymous comment on the Sexual Sin entry

I wanted to reply to the comment on my Sexual Sin essay on January 26, 2009, from Anonymous no. 2. First, I thank God for sending you to jostle me and the time in my hectic life to write a response.

Anonymous no. 2 started by saying…


I found it most interesting that you used no scripture to back up your claims, but simply your own opinion. It seems to me that God is not working through you, but you are considering yourself to be God. You should not base your assumptions off of other people's opinions, but off of the Bible.


He/she then went on to quote several scriptures. Now one issue I have with people who quote scripture is that for the most part no one is arguing the words that are in the Bible. The discord is in what those words mean to a person. Generally I find scripture quoters presume throwing out scriptures is quite enough to state their / God’s case and change other people’s minds or behavior, assuming the meaning has to be crystal clear.

The soul God gave me doesn’t buy into the whole “God said it, I believe it, that settles it” bumper sticker mentality.

One example of a lack of clarity from my own life was when I told some British co-workers that we would do the conversion at their convenience. When they chuckled I knew we did not share a common interpretation of my words, which were perfectly clear to me. One of them explained that ‘convenience’ in Britain is another word for toilet and they were picturing me doing a computer conversion in their home bathrooms.

The main reason I didn’t quote scriptures is that this is an essay on the sociology of religion, not on scripture. It’s about how people variously interpret scriptures and put their interpretations into practice and how they use that interpretation to judge others. Also I VERY much believe in the power of revelation, which God still speaks to us, not only through the Bible, but more often through those around us whom we interact with (and some of you may remember the fortune cookies LOL). I have studied the Bible since early childhood and am quite familiar with the scriptures Anonymous cites as well as hundreds of others.

Theologians have been trying to understand what the scriptures mean since the earliest writings of Moses and pastors have been struggling to define relevance of words written thousands of years ago to life in modern society. What are healing miracles for 2009? Where did Jesus ascend to since our telescopes can see to the beginnings of our universe?

I also believe without the Holy Spirit of God within our souls to guide and reveal to us, the Bible is so much ink on a page. When you, Anonymous, say I should not concern myself with what others think, am I to assume that you have no use for a pastor interpreting and explaining the Bible? That you do not believe in Bible studies where people discuss what the scriptures mean to them? That personal witness (which is what I claim to be) is worthless for the glory of God? That God has had nothing else to say in the 1800+ years since the Bible was written by men?

So I’m not a big fan of throwing around Bible quotes like rocks at a public stoning. You’ve tossed out several without explaining how you interpret them, as if they are perfectly clear. I also wonder if you have considered how the early Christians fared prior to Paul’s first writings, let alone the Gospels coming along decades later.

For example, since it is a theme of your chosen scriptures, I would ask what your definition of sexual immorality is? I have no doubt it differs from mine, but I suspect it will probably differ from many fellow parishioners. There are numerous Biblical incidents I consider sexually immoral that God seemed to bless or ignore such as Solomon’s 900 wives and Abraham having sex with his concubine to name two. And for the literalists who believe in Adam and Eve, God certainly had to bless a lot of incest to get the human race off the ground.

In reference to 1 Corinthians 6:18, as a male who struggles with his weight, it seems that my eating/exercise habits have far more impact inside my body than anything sexual I have done. I can also guarantee I have never looked at a woman lustfully so we can dismiss Matthew 5:28. Regarding Hebrews 13:4, I never committed adultery with my wife during 20 years of marriage. I have and continue to honor the marriage vows I made to the best of my ability, far, far beyond what is required by any judge or law. Good Christian people have called me a fool for continuing to love, honor and cherish her both financially and emotionally.

As for Romans 1:26-27, you are obviously quoting relatively modern translations as the Bible didn’t put it that way prior to the 1940s. As for Romans 13:13, I am quite in the open about as much of my behavior I feel is proper, certainly as much as the average person. While like most I certainly won’t have sex in public, I will unabashedly give my partner a hug or kiss as well as hold his hand in public.

And if you consider me to lack humility, I suggest you read more of my posts. If I still come across as someone lacking humility who doesn’t defer to God (though not necessarily the Bible), let me know. And speaking of humility, you obviously don’t understand what homosexuality is all about and I recommend getting to really know us and truly learn to love us before you condemn us to hell. Do you really believe it is sinful lust that drives me into the arms of another man? That it’s simply a matter of choosing to live as a heterosexual (been there, done that, didn’t work)? Or simply to deny ourselves the very necessary human intimacy that is essential for our mental and emotional well-being?

The part of your writing that offends me most, though, is when you say I consider myself God. Boy that would sure make my life easier and eliminate the need for me to bother writing this. I have many friends who have turned their backs on God because there was no tolerance for them in their church. Part of the work I am called by God to do is to reach out to those hurt by their church and offer hope and a vision of God as loving and worthy to be worshipped. It is extremely difficult akin to helping a badly wounded animal. They hear words from people like you, Anonymous, and there is nothing but loneliness and despair in them. Do you have any idea how hurtful this is? Is there a bit of compassion in your heart?

I assure you, Anonymous, that simply because I interpret scripture different, that my understanding of God is different, that I am open to discuss my doubts and my faith struggle, I have never claimed to usurp God. I have never claimed to know God’s will other than what he has revealed to me about my own life. That I challenge those certainties others have about what God does or does not actually ‘hate’ does not make me God.

By the way I do have scriptures to back up my beliefs. From the following foremost scripture comes my reconciliation with God who created me just the way I am as his gay son and with others in this world who I have to have the courage to live with. It drives my faith journey, my understanding of God worthy to be loved, my thoughts, my actions, my writing, my life, my compassion and my love. Upon it do I weigh and measure everything written, spoken or revealed.

Luke 12:30-31


30Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'[f] 31The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'[g]There is no commandment greater than these."

28 Comments:

Blogger dave said...

Why do you characterize yourself as a "Gay Christian?"

Does that make you, somehow, more/different/better/worse than the rest of us who do NOT characterize ourselves as "Black Christian" "European Christian" "American Christian" "Red-blooded Dog Christian" "Euphamistically Sane Christian" "Wife-beating Christian" "Thumb-sucking Christian" "Sin-glorifying Christian" etc.?

8:15 PM  
Anonymous Raycol said...

Scott and his readers may be interested in seeing the Gay and Christian website (www.gaysandslaves.com). It shows that while the Bible does prohibit sex between men (homosexuality), it can nevertheless be shown that the prohibition does not apply today when the sexual activity causes no harm. Also the prohibition does not apply today because it applied only to the ancient Israelite and Roman cultures. The Bible criticizes, but does not prohibit, sex between women. Full reasons for these conclusions are given on the website.

2:04 PM  
Blogger dave said...

Hey, Raycol,

So, you're saying that parts of the Bible are for some other time and that the entire Bible, therefore, really needs to be edited for today.

Interesting theory; how do you interpret Rev 22:18,19? Today? 90 AD? When?

9:11 PM  
Blogger BentonQuest said...

Thank you for writing this Scott. It took much thought and courage.

Perhaps some day people who like to quote scripture will learn the scripture about judging.

The Christ I worship is loving and caring, not full of hatred and wrath.

Peace

8:13 AM  
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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Scott,

I too am a Gay man who is a Christian. Everytime I even open my mouth about homosexuality and faith I am bombarded by Biblical Quotes and people telling me to "Repent My Ways" in order to receive salvation.

I am terribly confused and find myself often unhappy and praying for just some peace of mind.

I don't know how to find my peace of mind yet I will never turn my back on Christ just to not have consequences for my actions.

Sometimes I pray for God to just take me now, but that feels selfish and like, "the easy way out".

I don't even know what I am trying to say, my life is just upsidedown and every moment I have time for free thought, my mind always wanders to need to pray for my salvation.

I do not pray to be changed into a heterosexual, simply just for God to bring me to the path he has destined for me.

Your words are extremely helpful, but this weight of wrong-doing sin still sits upon my shoulders. I feel terrinbly alone in the world, completely unattracted to women, and afraid to approach men, for it is... sin?

I feel like I'm going crazy and I don't know what to do anymore. :/

5:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is in response to anonymous. I am a gay woman and I feel very similar to the gay man with his troubles. Especially the part of feeling so alone. I am so sorry and I wish we could talk because honey you are not alone. It is so hard being gay and a christian. Society alone is so judgemental and the church can be so condemning even though I still love church and I also get confused and scared about my salvation. I really wish I had more peace!

6:46 PM  
Anonymous Christy said...

It breaks my heart to see how some people who claim to love Jesus Christ treat gays;especially gays who also claim to be Christians.

I am straight and also a Christian. I go to a "christian" school, but that is NOT the reason I claim to be a Christian. I am a Christian simply because I am in love with my God.

My Bible teacher recently asked my class to wright a paper about the answer to 5 common questions people have. The question I chose to answer was, Is it right for a Christian (one who claims to love, know, and follow God)to be gay.

My teacher asked us to put aside our personal opinions and really try to find what God's attitude is towards it using the just the Bible and our relationship with God.

I believe with all my heart that the Bible is the WORD of GOD.so far, I have found multiple verses that shows how God despises homosexuality.

I have yet to find any that say it is ok, but if anyone knows any I would love to know. Really.

My God is a just and loving God who is jealous for ALL His children. I know this because the Bible says so and because I experience his powerful love. I know that my God does and says what is fair.( what is fair to our standards does not always match up to His)

For anyone, gay or straight,I strongly encourage you to be vulnerable with your creator who is JEALOUS for YOU, and ask Him if He is ok with being gay and claiming to love Him.

I am trying to figure it out myself, and I will pray for anyone else who is confused or embarrassed.

Even though we are all different, we claim to be on the same side, God'side. Why don't we ask Him and search Him for the answers? I know He will be glad to tell us how He feels.

I would also like an answer.
-Christy

7:23 PM  
Anonymous Mike Shinoda said...

I am GAY, and I am a CHRISTIAN.

Scott, the blog owner, and to readers like me, To be totally HONEST, I have been in your ("our) situation. Like you, I blinded myself to think that:

"Oh, it is ok to be gay, it is ok to continue my SINFUL lifestyle (same sex with guys) and at the SAME TIME honor God."

My friends, my dear friends, let's be real. That will not WORK. Never. The bible said you gotta choose. It is either you are FOR God, or AGAINST God. It is either you have FAITH as HOT as a fire, or NONE at all, as cold as ice-- NO IN BETWEEN.

So yes, we have to accept it. No matter how we reason with it ourselves, at the end of the day, the BIBLE, being God's word, will prevail.

I know it is hard. Almost impossible. I personally think that you cannot transform from a GAY to a STRAIGHT man -- no no no. Never. Biological, scientific aspects will contradict..

GIVEN that fact, we cannot force ourselves to change our sexually,what we can do is to actually CHANGE OUR LIFESTYLE. Gays mostly suffer from SEXUAL aspects of "SIN." So what to do?

Do not LUST over the same sex, or the opposite sex for that matter. Do not engage in SEXUAL acts. The bible said we can only have sex with our "wife." BUT I cannot have sex with a female because I am GAY, right? So what do I do?

One solution is left: Be CELIBATE. It's hard to swallow, but that is the only thing LEFT for us gays to be safe from SEXUAL SIN.

It's hard, but reality is hard. If we want to be SAVED, what the heck, there's no easy, instant way.

Truth is hard. Reality is harsh. Let us not blind ourselves. Just take what the bible says.

10:07 AM  
Blogger Sheryl Shunmugam said...

Hi Ladies & Gentlemen. I find this blog to be most interesting. It is the first I have read thus far and it has been wrenching my heart for the oast few minutes that I have been reading. All I have to say is one thing that I have learn't in my walk with Christ and this is that _ Guilt is not from God, but from Satan himself. He wants us to feel guilty about who we are. Come on now guys and girls let us not let him win ! He can't because the Bible says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Phillipians 4:13. Let us all be overcomers. Shalom.

6:02 AM  
Blogger Sheryl Shunmugam said...

Hi Ladies & Gentlemen. I find this blog to be most interesting. It is the first I have read thus far and it has been wrenching my heart for the oast few minutes that I have been reading. All I have to say is one thing that I have learn't in my walk with Christ and this is that _ Guilt is not from God, but from Satan himself. He wants us to feel guilty about who we are. Come on now guys and girls let us not let him win ! He can't because the Bible says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Phillipians 4:13. Let us all be overcomers. Shalom.

6:03 AM  
Blogger Sheryl Shunmugam said...

Hi Ladies & Gentlemen. I find this blog to be most interesting. It is the first I have read thus far and it has been wrenching my heart for the oast few minutes that I have been reading. All I have to say is one thing that I have learn't in my walk with Christ and this is that _ Guilt is not from God, but from Satan himself. He wants us to feel guilty about who we are. Come on now guys and girls let us not let him win ! He can't because the Bible says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Phillipians 4:13. Let us all be overcomers. Shalom.

6:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yup Yup, being a gay Christian is the hardest thing to go through in my life. I doubt anything will be anymore difficult than this. I know I won't turn my back on God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit to selfishly be able to accept myself and desires.

I just want people to know I am a 16 year old male still in high school who is hurting a ton. I'm really feeling in love with this other person my age who is also a male, and knowing I can't reach out is painful. It isn't lustful at this point I just want to be his good friend, and yet we can be.

However I get extremely hurt and feel lonely when I feel he doesn't want to talk to me, its a steep climb that I know I can do, yet am scared to try it.

I pray for those who go through my same struggle (or anyone for that matter) but just letting those who are like me to know that there I do care about you, and anyone else who has to go through ANY sort of struggle. Just my story, coming out anonymously is easy. :L

God Bless everyone I'm feeling better already and I pray that you do too. :)

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