Being a Gay Christian

Here are my struggles to reconcile my religion & sexual orientation. I used to think that being a Christian and being gay were mutually exclusive. God revealed to me that I am his child, created Just As I Am. God’s awesome gift comes with challenges, yet opportunities to share the good news to many who have rejected religion. Or who have suppressed their sexuality to keep their religion. I welcome this ministry and the unbelievable strength he gives me to do it.


I'm gay and while that does tell you which gender I want to fall in love with, it tells you nothing about my lifestyle. As you read you'll learn about that.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Religious Obsession with Sex

I have started reading the book "Rumors of a Another World" by Philip Yancey. While I have not read enough to wholly endorse Yancey's viewpoint, many of the things he talks about ring true. His thesis is that the world around us and its pleasures are truly gifts from God and hints at the paradise to come. Like a ring between lovers, it is a symbol of His love for us and something we are meant to treasure and enjoy, but not idolize. Desires in their proper context are normal and holy.

Yet some religious people would have us completely deny pleasure and our desires. I contend, like the author seems to, that neither extreme is desirable. I don't approve of pure hedonism nor do I believe in complete denial of pleasure including when it comes to sex, the biggest thorn in religion's side for centuries.

Isn't it a bit perverted to be so obsessed with what goes on in people's bedrooms and at the same time so ashamed of God's gift of sexuality that we cannot discuss it openly and honestly with our children? Isn't it odd that many would drive people away from God because of sex while welcoming the greedy and the liars and the hateful with open arms?

I think much of religion is abnormally focused on sexuality and ignores so many other faucets of human behavior that is much more damaging in my mind. Yancey says it well in his book...

I dwell on the church's severe attitude toward sex because I believe we
Christians bear heavy responsibility for the counter-reaction so evident in
modern society. Jesus treated those who had fallen into sexual sins with
compassion and forgiveness and reserved his harshest words for the hidden
sins of hypocrisy, pride, greed and legalism. How is it that we who follow
him use the word "immoral" to signify sexual sins almost exclusively and
reserve church discipline for those who fail sexually.

And this struggle with sexuality consumes churches, robbing their energies and creating an environment so cruel and unsympathetic that the vast majority of this country sees no relevance of religion in their lives. All church work fighting poverty and disease is cast in shadow by the walls built to keep out the sexually "impure."

Meanwhile greed, pride and legalism have destroyed the world's economy and thousands of families with nary a word from religious "authorities". Sexuality has become the defining factor of many churches and religious organizations.

Name the group American Family Association and most people will think of Dobson's crusade against homosexuals. Jerry Falwell will always be remembered for saying that gays contributed to 9/11. Say the name Fred Phelps and most visualize his "God Hates Fags" signs. Talk about the Episcopal church and the number one topic is the divide over gay people.

This crusade against sexuality is fronted by a fatwa on gays. Their decrees that marriage and sex are only for procreation, that abstinence until marriage is the only way to educate youth, that birth control is evil, that God insists gays must be celibate would be laughable if not for the seriousness of their consequences.

One of the hypocrisies that hurts me most is represented by the words of Rick Warren who stated he could not imagine not having the intimacy of his relationship with his wife. He spoke as if it were something deeply and foundationally important in his life, and I truly believe it is. He said he cannot imagine not having it and having to live in the desolation its absence would cause.

Yet, Pastor Warren, like many others, sees no hypocrisy in wanting to deny to gay people the very intimacy they proclaim as indispensable in their own lives.

I was married for 20 years and while I loved and cherished my wife, and I still do, there was no true intimacy in our relationship. The deceit was destroying us both. Now our souls are healing and God has given me some of the glorious intimacy Pastor Warren thinks is indispensable. God has led me to welcoming Christians who focus on Christs love instead of Gos' wrathful judgement. And as a result I have learned about what love really is and how to love God truly.

If we truly love and nurture the person, if we accept them unconditionally as God accepts them, if we are welcoming and inclusive in our churches and our lives, then we open the door for God to worry about the sins. Let us show the world the God's wedding ring - His marvelous creation.


Blogger BentonQuest said...


7:12 AM  
Blogger Creative Thinker said...

WOW! very well said!!! I have read this three times...

8:48 AM  
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