Being a Gay Christian

Here are my struggles to reconcile my religion & sexual orientation. I used to think that being a Christian and being gay were mutually exclusive. God revealed to me that I am his child, created Just As I Am. God’s awesome gift comes with challenges, yet opportunities to share the good news to many who have rejected religion. Or who have suppressed their sexuality to keep their religion. I welcome this ministry and the unbelievable strength he gives me to do it.


I'm gay and while that does tell you which gender I want to fall in love with, it tells you nothing about my lifestyle. As you read you'll learn about that.

Thursday, November 13, 2008


I often wonder what is at the root of the animosity conservatives have toward LGBT people. The energy and emotion given in fighting us seems unwarranted when justified by a handful of scriptures. There are many more scriptures on other themes that get short shrift by churches - lying and greed being a couple.

Plus I look at Christ's life and he never spoke one word of condemnation of gay people. Why not, if it were as important an issue as some churches make it out to be. And while I believe he might have spoken in support of gays, I acknowlege it could be a stretch.

All that we really can be sure of is that Christ was neutral on the issue as far as scripture was concerned. Yet from this neutrality comes vehement objection today. And I do not understand why.

Why are people so angry? That growing up with the desire for intimacy and love for a man instead of for a woman should generate such ire and judgement seems disproportionate.

They will say they want to save my soul. But they don't care if I'm violent or an adulterer or a theif or opportunist preying on the innocent. They show no desire to save my soul from those things. It's just so important to them to get me to change from being gay. Then their work is done. How odd. How myopic.

And these same people who profess such concern for my soul, seem to show great apathy for other heathens. They seem perfectly fine consigning billions of non-Christians to eternal damnation. I guess I should feel grateful that they have so much concern for me over the Hindu's. Or the Unitarians.

Some will cite the decadent behavior they see at gay bars and Pride festivals. And yes there are exuberant gays who perhaps push things a bit far in venues where they are among kindred spirits. But tell me one time anyone saw gogo boys at the mall. Tell me when anyone saw the gays at work prancing around with boas. Plus the vast majority of gays wouldn't be caught dead in their skivvies marching down North Halsted.

For some it's the fear that some gay person will hit on them. First they should consider it a compliment because if a gay guy finds them attractive, a straight woman definitely will. All they have to do is say "thanks, but no thanks." The idea that it is a cause for violence is horrid. Image the reaction to a woman who killed a man in his apartment simply because he came on to her at a bar. Imagine worrying that that might happen to you.

Perhaps it's because gays must all be succumbing to temptation. How wonderfully righteous that straight people resist that powerful temptation to have sex with someone of their own sex. Now I do know of many 'straight' guys that just want to have a gay guy perform oral sex on them since their wives won't. But that's a whole different temptation.

And when it comes to temptation, no one does it as well as the straights. TV is crammed full of temptation. Magazines and even children's school and social lives are full of it. In my city there are no gay strip clubs, but 4 straight ones. There's one gay dance club yet countless straight ones where things go on that make even me blush. There's far more temptation to be straight than to be gay.

Perhaps it's because I interpret scripture differently. Yet so do the Mormons, the Jews and even the Presbyterians. I don't see as much chastisement rained upon them as I have received.

Oh, yes, I forgot, it's all about protecting the children. The little girl in the commercial who learned she could marry a princess - the rest of the story is that she wouldn't dream that past puberty unless she were lesbian. Staright people don't need to be indoctrinated into hetero marriage - though society spends a lot of time subliminally coaching children on their roles as a boy or girl. The reality is they don't have to be taught it to dream it. As a child in the 60's, I definitely wanted to live happily ever after with the prince (or Batman). But I also knew before I was ten that people wouldn't approve.

Kids are what they are. Some are gay and most are straight. They definitely learn what they are and about gays regardless of schools and parents. Some just go through a lot more pain and suffering while learning to accept themselves. And sadly way too many destroy themselves in the process.

Of course the conservatives reject the idea that gay people are born that way. That would violate their assumptions about God's judgement. That might mean they are - (gasp) wrong. (Note: I have no problem accepting that I might be wrong as it happens so often.) So in their minds, children must be "recruited." I recall an activist I knew saying that if someone gave him $10,000 to recruit straight children to being gay, he wouldn't have a clue what to do. Perhaps giving every boy a Barbie and an Easy-bake Oven would do it (this is a joke).

Yet, conservatives mistake our concern for the children who are growing up like we did, thinking they were flawed and second-class members of society. We all wished for role models, to know we were not alone. I can only envy teens today who can actually date the people they want to date rather than the ones they're "supposed" to. I imagine the joy the straight guys had dating girls. And I feel severely deprived that I could not have that experience for myself until I was 44 years old.

I don't want another gay boy to have to experience the isolation, the supressed emotions, the undermining of his self-esteem that I lived through, that have scarred me for life. I don't want another young couple hurt because one of them really doesn't belong in that relationship. I don't want anyone thinking they have to chose between God and their sexuality.

I, like most LGBT people, just want who I date, love and marry to be a non-issue in society.

So why is it a big deal?


Blogger BentonQuest said...

Great post! I just wish more people would truly think about what they are saying.

2:19 PM  

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