Still Here, Still Queer, Still Christian

Wow, I just noticed I haven't posted here in a long time. I am still here and while I think about writing here, I obviously haven't. I feel like I've matured in my faith, though I have moved farther away from organized religion.

Ironically, I did enjoy going to the local cathedral with a Catholic friend of mine. Though I thought the ritual to be over the top, it was a great show with grand pageantry and music. I did wonder if people in the pews truly undertood the meanings of the symbols. But there was a great comfort in being able to worship annonymously. And to worship free from the church "family" content typical of protestant churches (like childrens sermons, prayer requests, church business and event announcements and a parade of people I don't know).

I do wish to belong to a church at this time and don't care to sit through a bunch of fluff in order to have a worshipful experience.

I am still far removed from Papal Catholicism, though. I recently went to a local tavern where a priest was giving a talk on prayer. Does he actually believe the things he was saying, I had to wonder. It's difficult for me to fathome that a rational adult can believe that wearing a brown scapular gives you an express lane to heaven when you die.

I bristle at the complex and contrived rules Roman Cotholicism professes. What is its purpose - to enlighten and inpire? or to confuse?

So I am still here, still searching, still learning, still talking with God, still wandering. Yet, not all who wander are lost.